Juliet
by theyoungertorres
Summary: A series of Becky and Beckdam oneshots taking place before their relationship, during their relationship, and following Adam's death.
1. Scream

Becky Baker sat down at her desk. She had said goodnight to both her parents, kissed them both on the cheek, and finished praying, but she still couldn't fall asleep. At first, she thought it was guilt about lying to her parents. She had told them that she was hanging out with Jenna when in reality, she had gone to Romeo and Jules. Technically that wasn't a total lie. Jenna _had_ been there. She just hadn't spoken to her. She had instead offered to play a homosexual man and then partook in a play that promoted homosexuality.

Becky frowned at her own thoughts.

Eli was right. The play promoted tolerance. How could she have not seen that before?

She opened her prayer journal. Most nights she kept it closed; speaking her prayers aloud seemed more satisfying than just writing them, but she wanted to organize her thoughts. The journal seemed the best way to do that.

So she wrote down the word tolerance and smiled, but then frowned again when she remembered Adam's earlier words. Adam had more or less said that she couldn't promote tolerance. That had hurt… much more than it should have. Why did she care what he… she… Adam thought about her? Something about Adam's words though made her want to volunteer to play Jules. What was the point though? Did she want to show Adam that he… she… he… she…

Becky looked down at her journal and saw that she had been writing "he" and "she" repeatedly.

What was wrong with her? She knew Adam was a girl… and yet Adam wasn't. She couldn't picture Adam wearing a dress or dating a guy or doing anything that Becky or Jenna or any girl would. Adam just wasn't a… girl. She wondered if that was what Jenna had been trying to explain to her.

Becky thought again about Adam. She thought about how surprised he had been when she offered to play Jules and how he had given her an apologetic smile when she had rejoined him and Eli in costume. She remembered how he offered her a spot to sing in the chorus and how he had offered silent encouragement as she stood in stage.

She remembered their hug. They had stood, staring at each other for a second too long, where Becky wondered if they would kiss. She didn't even know how that thought had entered her mind and it was then she realized that it had entered her mind because she _wanted _to kiss Adam. They had been a respectable distance from each other so it's not like their lips had been close together. The image of her kissing Adam had just popped into her head and she had wanted to.

She had wanted to kiss Adam, but at last minute, she settled for a hug.

That hug confused her. Did she go for the hug because she knew kissing Adam was wrong?

No.

She wanted to kiss Adam and in that brief second, she didn't care if it was wrong.

Then what?

It then dawned on her. She wanted to kiss Adam. For that one second, she didn't care if Adam was a girl or a guy. She wanted to kiss Adam. She wanted to kiss the person that he was. But she was afraid and not for the reasons she would have originally been. She wasn't afraid of God or her faith. She was afraid of rejection.

Did she _like_ Adam?

She then returned her attention to her journal.

_Please God help me understand this. Please help me do the right thing._

She then paused and was about to close the journal when she realized she had to write something. It wasn't really a prayer – well it was – but she needed to write it for herself. Maybe then everything would become clearer.

_Please watch over Adam. _He _is a good _man.

Becky reread that and smiled.

Adam was a boy.

She wouldn't be having these confusing thoughts about him if he wasn't.


	2. Healing

Becky sat in the circle, glancing at the boys and girls surrounding her. On her left was another girl dressed in a pink t-shirt paired with a white skirt. Her legs were crossed and she was examining a painting on the wall, her expression almost bored. On her right was a boy wearing a blue tank and jeans, his eyes on his phone as he typed quickly. There were three other teens in the room: a girl with a short pixie styled hair and two boys holding hands although as the door opened, they quickly shifted away from each other.

Becky turned to face the new arrival and saw an older woman wearing a pink sundress. She took a seat directly across from Becky before clapping her hands, causing everyone to face her as though trained. Becky glanced around, gaging the other teens' reactions as this woman with the fake smile and plastic face began introducing herself as Eve, the person in charge of their path to healing.

The girl next to her rolled her eyes while the boy quickly put away his phone, training his eyes on Eve although he quickly lost interest and seemed to start daydreaming. The other girl had snorted when Eve continually used the word "healing" and when she received a reproachful glance from Eve, she just leaned backwards in her chair as though entertained. The two boys had their eyes on the floor although Becky saw them keep glancing at each other, quickly looking away whenever they made eye contact. They were afraid.

"Today we have a new girl joining us," Eve smiled at Becky, "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

"I'm Becky Baker," Becky whispered softly when all eyes turned to her. Eve gestured for her to go on and she swallowed, trying to find her voice, "I… I'm confused. My parents sent me here to try and help me."

"Tell us, Becky, when did you first begin having these sinful thoughts?" The girl on the other side of the room snorted at Eve's words, but when the older woman glared at her, she just raised her hands in mock surrender. The boys sitting near her, looked even more nervous at the word "sinful."

"I… I don't know," Becky looked down, "I didn't know he was… he was just so… he confused me."

"He?" The boy next to her questioned, "Honey, do you know the reason behind this place?"

"No… I meant…" Becky tried to find the words – the words that her parents had been telling her the past few days. But she still found herself having trouble believing them. "He… Adam is a girl. He… she just dresses and acts like a boy. She confused me."

"He's transgender?" The girl who kept making a mockery over Eve's words asked.

"_She_, Jamie," Eve stressed, "You don't want to keep confusing, Becky."

Jamie rolled her eyes again.

Everyone had a story.

Stacey, the girl next to her, was being forced to attend by her parents who were threatening to disown her. She didn't share much except for that and as Becky stared at her, she thought that maybe her parents were mistaken. Stacey didn't look like a lesbian and she didn't say anything about liking girls either.

Damien, the boy next to her, talked about sneaking into gay clubs and going home with boys all the time. He didn't seem ashamed and he grinned every time Eve cringed whenever he said ass. He said he was going only to help his parents' relationship, but his mom hadn't seemed to care at all about his sexuality.

Dante, the taller of the two boys, lived in foster care and talked about how he loved watching his classmates' undress in the locker room. His foster father, a priest, had sent him to therapy, talking about how no one would love him because of his sins. Becky felt for the boy, but he seemed surprisingly upbeat.

Clayton, the other boy, seemed the only one really interested in healing, but Becky thought back to when he was holding Dante's hand and wondered if him talking about healing was just an act for Eve. But when he started crying about his younger brother who hadn't spoken to him in years, he seemed genuinely interested in getting better.

Jamie didn't talk much. She just said (and Becky cringed as she said it) that she liked pussy and then crossed her arms, grinning in response to Eve's glares.

"Sharing" went on for about an hour before Eve allowed them all to talk to one another without her company. It was supposed to help them "get along" better with the opposite sex although Becky watched as the serious conversations Eve had been trying to initiate evaporated as soon as the door was shut.

Stacey, took out her phone and started texting. Dante and Clayton linked hands again and began whispering to each other. Jamie and Damien walked over to Becky who had been leaning against the wall awkwardly.

"Hey," Jamie said, grinning, "What's up?"

"I… I don't," Becky looked away suddenly finding herself shy. She didn't know what to say. These people weren't like her. They weren't trying to get better. They made jokes about Eve and none of them seemed to care that they were… gay.

Jamie snorted, "You're not going to turn gay by just talking to me."

"I… I know," Becky whispered, "But I'm already…"

"Gay?" Damien grinned, "Honey, you are not like us. You don't want the same thing."

"Actually, Damien, I think you and her want the same thing," Jamie laughed and Damien stuck his tongue out at her.

"I… I don't understand," Becky looked at them. What did they mean she wasn't like them? They were all there to be healed right? They were all "sick" even though she was the only one trying to get better.

"You and Damien both like guys," Jamie explained, "Trust me I have good gaydar and you are not gay."

"But Adam…?"

"Is a boy," Stacey interjected, looking up from her phone, "You said so yourself. You only called him a 'she' twice when you talking about him. You know he is a guy so why are you hear listening to all this crap?"

"I want to get better," Becky explained before staring at Stacey, "You don't look like you should be here."

"Why? Because I'm not butch?" Stacey laughed, "Becky, I don't have to have short hair or drive a Harley to be a lesbian. I want a family just like any other girl, but I just want a wife instead of a husband. I want to have the _normal_ American life and me being gay won't change how much I love my kids."

"Becky, think about it, do you like girls?" Dante asked, turning his attention away from Clayton and facing the others, "Don't think about Adam or your parents. Do you like girls?"

"I don't…"

"Becky," Dante pressed the issue, "Are you attracted to Stacey or Jamie or any other girls you know?"

"No…" Becky then glanced at Jamie and Stacey, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," Jamie grinned, "Straight girls aren't my thing."

"Straight…?"

"Yes, straight," Jamie laughed, "You like boys, right?"

"Yes… I've only liked boys… I've only dated boys."

Everyone shared a glance.

"What?" Becky asked, looking at everyone, "What?"

"You dated Adam," Dante smiled.

"Yeah…?"

"You just said you only date boys," Dante explained.

"I don't… this confuses me," Becky dropped her head and she felt someone take a seat next to her, resting a hand on her back. She looked up and saw Clayton who gave her a weak smile. She returned it before looking down again and whispering, "I don't want things to be complicated. I didn't want to love…"

Becky paused.

There was silence for a couple of minutes.

"Love…?" Jamie grinned.

"I think I love Adam," Becky whispered, "And I think I can only fall in love with a boy."

"Hallelujah, she's seen the light," Damien said and everyone laughed.


End file.
